Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
