I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
