Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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