Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
