My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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