dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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