i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I need to sanitize my soul.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
