When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
