i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
