Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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