can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
