I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
