Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
