The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
