She's JV to your varsity
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
