I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
