I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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