i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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