omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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