Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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