My first STD was from a foam party
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
