Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
