Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
