she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
