piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
