I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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