No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
