i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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