david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
