I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
