Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
