Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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