im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
