I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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