A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
