Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
