There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
