When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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