Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
