Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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