Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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