i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
