Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
