Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
