we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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