I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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