did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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