In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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