I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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