My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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